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Toffee Nose, Bluenose, Fuck Knows 4: The Weekend (next season) Starts Here..

Marcus wasn’t sure if he could handle much more of this.

Who. he thought, gives you deep-fried Mars bars as a comfort food? He put the other half of the sickly treat back on the plate and turned back to the TV, his ergonomic chair squeaking as he moved. Raul Jimenez had missed a penalty on 62 mins and now the clock on the upper left corner was showing 84 minutes. Hold on, Southampton, he thought.

The rest of his backroom staff were all crammed into the briefing room at Goodison, remnants of Tennants and Mars bars strewed all over the polished table. He needed to speak to Davina about her ‘catering’, he quietly decided.

They watched as Nathan Redmond received the ball high on the right wing. They gasped as he danced around the Wolves full back like Darcy Bussell and, as he arrowed into the box, time seemed to slow down. Every one of Marcus’ senses went into overdrive. God, this 4K TV was good. Redmond made it into the box. Patricio moved out of net to narrow the angle and try – TICK – to – TOCK – rush – TICK – Redmond – TICK.. Redmond let fly, the ball seeming to take forever to go past Patricio’s outstretched arm.. GOAAALL!! Beer and batter everywhere!! Southampton had taken the lead! This meant that Everton were currently qualified for the 2020/21 UEFA Europa League. 5 minutes plus stoppage time of torture to go.

In the end, Wolves couldn’t muster a counter in the remaining time and the final whistle went, sealing Everton’s place in European football next season. It took an hour or so for the staff to file out of the briefing room, happy and a little drunk. All that were left were Marcus and Johnny, sat at the head of the table. Marcus turned to Johnny, after the last staff member closed the door, and asked how the plans for next season were going.

“Well, boss, we’ve finalised the signings of three players. Argentinian U-20 defender Ramon Suarez is coming in for £1.4million from River Plate. I know you liked the guy when you saw him in the U-20 Copa Libertadores, so we scouted and signed him, I’m not convinced he can become the next big thing, but we should at least make a profit on him. Unfortunately, he hasn’t got a work permit, so we’ll have to send him on loan to our newly-created affiliate in Germany, DSC Armina Bielefeld”..

Marcus nodded, this was good news. He’d liked what he’d seen of the youngster, although he’d need to improve his pace. Marcus then motioned for Johnny to go on.

“We’ve also managed to steal one of the jewels of the Arsenal youth system with 16 year old English midfielder Jake Weaver coming in for, what could be, £2.6million in compensation. He’ll be perfect for a central midfield role and hopefully will allow us to move Gylfi’s contract on.”

Marcus was especially proud of this one. He had been given a tip-off by an acquaintance who got to see the Arsenal intake games and moved accordingly. It cost him a pretty penny in wages, the kid was on £10k p/w here, but hopefully it would all work out! Next, said Marcus.

“Finally, we picked up 24-year old transfer-listed Charlton Athletic striker Macaulay Bonne. He’s gonna be excellent depth for us and home-grown talent which will aid us in the European adventure next season”

Marcus was a little dubious when his dossier came across his desk, but after a few scouting sessions, he’d grown to like the player’s movement and pace. He was cheap too, which was a bonus. He downed the last of his drink and enquired as to whether his plans for the last three games of the season were being implimented.

“Yes, boss. We will be playing as many academy or U-23 players as possible as auditions for next season. You can rely on us!”

Marcus dismissed him and put his feet up on the desk. Life was good. Except for that odd smell.. What was that? Was it the chair? He made a mental note to order another. he couldn’t work with this stench..

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