‘How was your break Edith?’
‘Not bad Jock thanks, I went back to Munich with my family for a few weeks, what about you?’
‘Went to Ibiza with a few of the lads from back home, and Craig came too. We got back last weekend and I’m just starting to feel normal now’ Jock said with a laugh before continuing ‘I’ve got last seasons review here from you, thank you for putting it all together, turns out Frederiksen was player of the year, and Peterson got goal of the season too, not sure it’s one I would’ve said was the best, remember that corker Skibby scored? Oh Kara got leading scorer which is obvious. Wonder how Soren got signing of the year but didn’t make team of the year? I won’t bother telling him, it’ll just set him off. Did I not win manager of the year then?’
‘They don’t have that in this league Jock’
‘Oh, shame, I would’ve definitely won it if they did’
Edith just shook her head
On the first day back at the club, chairman Steffen Nielsen had discussed with Jock that all the board wanted that season was to continue improving ‘As long as you carry on as you finished, I don’t see why you can’t get into the promotion stage this term’ was the last thing Steffen had said, as Jock still hadn’t figured him out he couldn’t decide if Steffen was being sincere or was demanding a top half finish.
Just as the first days training session had started, Jocks phone rang, it was Matt McGinley, one of Jocks friends from Scotland
‘Jockkeeeeeeeyyyyyy my pal’
‘Now Matt how goes it’
‘Yeah sweet mate, we’re stood at the door but the lass here won’t let us in’ Matt had said, and Jock could hear him talking to someone else through the phones receiver ‘You watch love Jock will be here in a minute and you’ll owe me one’ ‘Matt where are you what’s going on pal?’ Jock asked
‘At the ground you daft twat, don’t tell me you’ve forgot’
‘Jesus, here Bazza, the silly twats forgot, I told you he would’ at that Jock heard a familiar voice in the background shouting ‘what a fucking prick’ ‘Just come to the front door and get this battleaxe to let us in it’s freezing out here’
Jock racked his brain thinking what the hell Ginners and Bazza are doing here, in Skovshoved? The last time we spoke was in Ibiza last week when we had been, oh shit, I know why they’re here, for fuck sake they actually believed me didn’t they. You’re doing it again. Sorry, but I’ve got a problem on my hands. Yes you have, a massive problem as it happens. Thanks Captain obvious, you got any words of wisdom to get me out of this? Other than to stop talking to yourself and greet your friends with a smile? No, I’ve got nothing else.
‘Lads how’s it going?’ Jock remarked as he approached the main entrance to the stadium where lo and behold Matt McGinley, aka Ginners, David Barron, aka Bazza and Dean Hoskins were stood, visibly cold and all with a duffle bag with them
‘See you old hag, we know him, now move out of the way’ Ginners said as he barged past. Bazza nodded to Edith and said to Hoskins ‘I would, would you?’ Hoskins just shook his head.
After they’d let themselves in and followed Jock to the players lounge at the stadium, Jock addressed the elephant in the room ‘Good week as usual wan’ it’ referring to the week they had just had in Ibiza
‘Aye’ Ginners replied. ‘Aye’ said Bazza. Hoskins was stood looking out the window as if in a trance
‘He’s been like this since that last night in Ibiza, dunno what’s up with him’ Ginners said
‘I do’ Bazza said before continuing ‘heard him talking in his sleep on the plane back. Hey Hoskins, tell the lads about that fat bird’
Hoskins stood silent, ignoring his friends
‘Well, seeing as you’re all here, I guess I’ll ask, why are you here?’
‘You were always the funny one out of us lot weren’t ya Jocky’ Bazza said before continuing ‘Speaking of funny, where’s Anderson, he off sniffing bike seats again?’
‘ONCE! HE DID THAT ONCE BAZ AND HE WAS…’ Jock started screaming, but noticing Edith had walked in to the room he stopped himself. ‘He’ll be down the training pitch, training the team, as in MY team of footballers’
‘Aye we know. They’re our team mates after all’ Ginners said in an energetic way
‘You can’t be serious. You don’t think I was telling yous that I wanted you to sign for me when I said I needed a keeper and 2 full backs?’
‘See lads, he’s trying to get out of it already the absolute wet wipe’ Ginners said
‘Aye, wet wipe’ Bazza echoed and before Jock could continue on, Ginners spoke. ‘You said yourself them lot out there don’t like, trust or respect you. You’ve got that one lad that’s got ADHD or mentalistism or whatever syndrome he’s got’ Jock assumed he was referring to Soren Jensen ‘Ask yourself what I asked you in Ibiza, who actually likes you here, and don’t say Anderson’
‘Well Edith likes me’
‘Edith the non playing member of staff, aye stick her at left back see how she does’ Bazza said with a snigger before Ginners carried on ‘We’re here now, and really what option have you got? You told us there’s no scout here, the new chairman is the stand off type and has told you you’ve got free reign, you need 2 full backs and a keeper, not only are there 2 full backs and a goalie right in front of you, but we’re your friends Jock, we’ll be the ones fully behind you on the pitch and in the locker room. If anyone can get the team fully behind you, it’s us 3’
‘Aye’ Bazza replied to Ginners. But Jock had doubts. Matt McGinley was right when he said there was a much needed keeper and 2 full backs in the room with him now, but Jocks biggest concern was that all 3 of them, despite being some of Jocks oldest and trusted friends, they weren’t very good. Now come on, that’s not fair. Hoskins has got a hell of a left peg on him and at any dead ball he’s absolute mustard. Okay yes you can have that one. And Bazza is like the resulting offspring if a can of Red Bull and a packet of Energizer batteries had a baby, that mad twat can run for days and not break a sweat. Yes okay I agree, but other than running around like an idiot, he doesn’t offer much does he. So? You’re in the Danish third division Jock, not the LA Liga or the English Prem, any forward or wingers at this level that have got that irritating little shit bothering them will be put under pressure in this league. Right okay, but Ginners flaps at everything in the sticks, he’s all bark and no bite. Again at this level does it matter? Truth be told Jock both your keepers this season have been pretty shit, neither have really won points for you have they. Yeah I suppose you’re right.
‘Oh don’t worry about him lads, he does that all the time’ Jocks incoherent mumbling was interrupted as Craig Anderson stepped into the room and was greeted by the 3 men there with hugs and a lot of swearing. All 5 of the men in the room had known each other since they were kids. Every year they have gone for a week away to Ibiza even when all of their careers went in different directions. Jock of course stayed close to his home in Motherwell, as did Craig. But from those mean streets of Motherwell Dean Hoskins had played semi pro football for lower league side Pollok in Glasgow, David Barron was actually on the books for Partick Thistle for a number of years getting a lot of game time in the reserves but never making the first team, and also found himself playing semi pro football around the lower leagues in Scotland. Matt McGinley, much like Barron was on the books at a professional club, Inverness Caledonian Thistle, but never got much game time in the reserves and went on to play semi pro football at Albion Rovers, East Stirling and Buckie Thistle.
During one of many drunken heart to hearts in Ibiza, Jock, with a bottle of cheap champagne in hand had mentioned the state of his Skovshoved team ‘An a tell yous that shithouse, hick, keeper we’ve got, hick, he’s shit, he can’t catch a cold never mind a football. And don’t get me started on the defence’ Jock said between hiccups from the amount of vodka and coke mixed with the cheap champagne he was currently enjoying
‘Yeah don’t get him started on the defence’ Craig said smiling ‘What about the defence Jocky?’ Hoskins said hoping to get Jock started ‘Fucking shit. Swear on me mam, hick, can’t defend for shit. Baz gimme that gin will ya’ Bazza passed Jock a bottle of gin ‘Can’t defend. Can’t pass. Sorens a fucking nut job, hick, swear he’s a lunatic, ice cold killer he’s pure off his biscuit’ He took a sip from the bottle of gin ‘Hoskins, hick, could do a better job, and he’s shit’
‘Give over dick head, I’ve played a lot longer than you ever did’ ‘Now now lads’ Ginners stepped in between Jock and Hoskins as the former stood up in protest ‘Aye now now lads’ Bazza repeated
‘You 2 an all, loads better than what we’ve got at Skov, Skiv, Skav, Craig where is it we work again?’
‘Skovshoved Jock. Massive club did you forget?’
‘Aye that’s it, Skovshoved, biggest club in Iceland you know’
‘Think its Denmark we work in Jock’
‘You sure Skaggers? I’m sure it’s Iceland, it’s fuckin’ freezing even in summer’
‘Lads you’re both wrong, you work in Russia ya daft twats’ Hoskins said sniggering
‘Piss off Hoskins and go get some more peeve’
The rest of the lads holiday went as can be expected. Lots more booze and partying, Ginners woke up one morning on the beach wearing nothing but his sandals, Bazza hadn’t slept since the first night, Hoskins had an allergic reaction to something, no one knew what and had spent 2 days inside a café reading the same paper over and over as if in a trance, Jock and Craig were a bit more disciplined, but still drank their body weight in alcohol each day.
As usual it was the best week of their entire year, and when the time came to say their goodbyes, Jock and Craig got a plane to Copenhagen, and the rest got a flight back to Glasgow. ‘Speak soon boys’ was Jocks last words to the lads, and he didn’t realise it at that time, but as we’ve found out, he would be speaking to them much sooner than he thought.
Previous chapter – Lessons learned
Chapter 1 – The beginning
This is part of the #Danskedanske revolution started by From the Cheap Seats which is found on Twitter.
The details and opening post can be found here. All other stories from the DanskeDanske challenge, as well as the previous chapters of Jock’s story are found in the DanskeDanske category here on the site.
Benjoe and Thewindsofwedau are currently involved in the challenge. Please check out their posts too.