I don’t speak Spanglish. I’m Scottish if you didn’t know

‘It’s nice to finally meet you in person Jock. As discussed already I’m the Managing Director Angel Moretti, and I’ll be handing everything other than training, picking the team and managing games. Any questions at this time?’

‘Erm, yes. What do I do about signing any players that I want?’

‘Well you leave that to me’

‘How do I send scouts out to look for players in positions I identify we need?’

‘Again you leave that to me’

‘Okay, so how do you know what or who I need? Do I just….’

Angel cut him off again ‘You just leave everything to me. Literally everything okay’

‘Noted, can I ask another question?’

The managing director rolled his eyes ‘Go on’

‘Well, I don’t know if you know, but I’m Scottish, I’m a Jock that’s called Jock, anyway I speak English, I don’t speak Spanglish’

‘Spanglish isn’t a language Jock (he said this in a really condescending way). What it is your real name anyway? Don’t answer that, I don’t care. Here in Spain the language is Spanish, I’m Italian as you know’ Jock attempted to speak at this ‘Don’t ask anything yet. I myself speak English, Italian and Spanish’

Jock figured he’d have to learn a new language to communicate with the team.

‘But don’t worry, as I speak Spanish, and somewhat unluckily for you so do most of the first team, I will be the translator for you for now’



The news even made it, albeit near the bottom, of the BBC Scotland football page

As Jock and Angel made their to the training ground at Navalcarbón, the clubs home stadium, they were approached by a tall dark skinned man who addressed them with a hearty smile

‘Hello again Angel, this must be the new manager. I’m Taribo, your director of football’

Angel nodded and turned to Jock ‘Also, I’d like to let you know we’ve got your new assistant manager in as well. You may know him from the Premier League, he played many games for Brighton and a lot of games for Valencia, he’s called Vicente and had arrived just before you did today’

As the 3 of the continued with the pleasantries, Taribo told Jock now would be a good time to introduce himself to his new team. They made their way across the field to one of the goals where the team were cooling down

‘Afternoon lads, how are we all?’ Jock said with his arms extended

Silence. Not a peep.

‘Me. Jock. Your. New. Boss’ Jock said in that really condescending way English speakers communicate with foreigners. ‘Me. Show. You’ He paused before continuing ‘Watch’. He picked up a ball, took a step back and placed into the top right corner of the goal ‘See. Good. You. Learn. From. Me’

Taribo West stood there in silence just shaking his head, before turning to Angel ‘Where the hell did you find this guy?!’ ‘He’s fine, he just needs some guidance’ was Angels response.

By this time Jock was doing step overs and 360 spins trying to show off to his new team, but luckily Vicente had arrived and spoke in Spanish ‘No les hagas caso chicos, es nuevo’ and turned and spoke in perfect English to Jock ‘Afternoon Jock, I’m your assistant. Have you thought about how we’re going to set up this season? Here, I’ve taken the liberty of presenting you with a team report, and I’ve highlighted who our key player is’

Augusto Galvan on loan from Real Madrid. Possibly the best of a bad bunch?

‘He’s on loan from Real Madrid, so you can bet he’s got something about him. The club also has a good relationship with Real, so we’ll be looking to build upon that relationship as well.

As the week went on the general feeling was that Angel and the bosses back home could mold Jock into a decent manager, providing he listens, does what they want and most importantly, doesn’t ask any stupid questions.


Angel had travelled back to Rome for his weekly meeting with the bosses, and as usual met them in an unsuspecting café in downtown Rome.

‘Our contact at the league has confirmed the first game is against Inter Madrid and Oscar Garcia is the ref’

‘Ahh yes Oscar, he’s worked with us for a number of years hasn’t he’ an older man replied

‘Yeah, he’s been a good asset and has never let us down’

‘Of course Angel, we’ve got a big points deficit to make up, so lets keep things simple shall we’

‘Yes sure thing Manni, after Inter the next game is against Merida. I’ve made contact with an asset there as well, and we can be confident with that match too’

‘I know, as does the rest of the family that we can count on you to keep things moving. We’re not expecting all 38 games to be influenced, but can we count on you doing your upmost to eradicate those 18 points?’

‘Yes of course. I had been thinking, that getting influencers in all our games this season may be tricky, but I’ve got men looking at all the other fixtures, and after the first 6 or 7 games we’re going to be looking at influencing the teams around us, so as not to draw any more attention on us’

Las Rozas have to hope the teams around them don’t build a big enough points total, as 18 may only be 6 games, but in football, 6 games is a lot.


Next chapter – When the heart is full, the tongue will speak

Previous chapter – Putting the wheels in motion

Chapter 1 – In corruption, the foundations need to be built

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