‘Then I said, hick, there’s no way, hick, you’ll get someone better than, hick, me, I’m the best man, man, manger Skovshoved have ever had’!
The few other patrons of the bar laughed at this remark from a very drunk, and recently sacked manager Jock McGhee. One patron remarked that Jock had a win percentage of roughly 30%, quite how he’d figured he was the best manager the club had ever seen was so far unconfirmed.
Some could be forgiven for feeling sorry for the newly unemployed manager. What the Skovshoved chairman hadn’t realised, despite Jocks best efforts, was that despite being ‘technically’ relegated from the 2.division, the team would play in a newly formed league, aptly named the 3.division** (real creative guys. Jeesh) and the league splits after 12 games. The top 6 then battle it out for promotion back to the 2.division, whilst the bottom 6 strive to stay in the 3.division. I hope you’re keeping up.
The problem Jock now faced was how would the footballing world would see him. A failure in his first job. Well not technically. Yes technically, you got relegated. Yes only to the next division, I had at least another 18 games to save the season, 19 if you count the final game in the 2.division. YOU’D NOT WON A MATCH IN 11 GAMES! Also, stop interrupting me, I’ve got a lot to get through. But I just….. But nothing!
Sorry. He does that sometimes. Where was I? Oh yes, so the footballing world may look at Jock in a negative light. One role as a manager, one sacking and one relegation to his name. Not what you’d call a great catch.
From the sacking onwards, Jock received many emails on potential jobs he might be in line to get, or at least an interview. No doubt most club owners would turn their nose at this poor excuse of a manager. Hey, that’s not nice. Sorry, not sorry.
‘How’s Stenhousemuir sound?’ Layla, Jocks virtual assistant asked
‘Meh, shit club with no hope. My da’ played for them in the 80’s you know’
‘Never heard of them’
‘You beat them twice in your first 2 games at Skovhoved’
‘Did we? Well they must be shite then if I beat them’
‘Montrose? They’re definitely a step up’
‘Maybe. What’s this club culture thing?
‘Well they want players based in Scotland. This’ll be because the UK has left the EU, and there’s rules in place for foreign players now’
‘Well talking from experience, I don’t know why anyone would want to actually move to Scotland, especially to Montrose. Motherwell is the only team worthy of anyone’s time’
‘Is that a no then?’
‘So it’s a yes? Shall I apply for you’
A couple of weeks passed by, and you know what, it’s really boring isn’t it. Just watching the days tick by along the top there. Seeing nothing happen. But as with every good story there has to be a tragic back story.
Darth Vader was once the chosen one but became bad. Harvey Dent was a good person until he turned. Hang on, are you saying that I was good at Skovshoved and now I’m bad? Oh no sorry, I got it the wrong around let me start again.
Batman wouldn’t have been Batman if his parents hadn’t been killed. Darth Vader turned good in the end didn’t he. Spiderman only started fighting crime because Uncle Ben died. What I’m saying is for every good story there has to be some negative, an obstacle to overcome. And for Jock McGhee, for his sake, let’s hope that Skovshoved is the catalyst for change.
More time passed by, more jobs came up, more applications sent and more rejections received than Jock knew what to do. Well I need to try and get a job, any job. No Jock, do or do not get a job, there is no try. Okay life coach. Don’t mention it.
Smedby in Sweden, 12th in the Sodra group in Division 2. As well as IF Limhamn, also 12th but in the Vastra group of Division 2 in Sweden. Both need managers, both get applications sent their way.
Something then came up prompted intrigue. IK Tord, also of Sweden, were interested. Bloody idiots, why would they be interested in Jock?
It was certainly pleasing to feel wanted, Jock thought. But this is a team that is rooted to the bottom of Norra Gotaland group in Division 2 of Swedish football. But they play in a pinky / purple home shirt. And who doesn’t love a good pink football shirt?
The next few days go by without anything of note happening. Smedby and Limhamn both interview Jock, but he didn’t get the feeling or the want to join either of them. He’d bide his time for now until the right opportunity presented itself.
Then, on that fateful morning of 4th July 2021, his phone vibrated with a notification from Gmail, a new email had been received. Swiping on his phone and reading it, the subject was blank, but the email wasn’t:
Next episode – Obsession rules me, I’m yours from the start
Previous episode – The right man in the wrong place can make all the difference
References – 7
** The 3.division does actually become playable once the 2.division ends. So really, I could’ve carried on at Skovshoved had the game not sacked me.